Monday, December 24, 2012

Not a big fan

I've never been a big fan of Christmas. Even as a kid, after I realized there was no Santa of course, I tended to feel so guilty that Mom and Dad bought me so many presents because we just didn't have much money. I always thought, "I haven't done anything to get so much stuff!" Of course I was still a kid though too, so it was a mixture of guilt and excitement.

As the years passed I let my hatred of Christmas grow to whatever proportions it wanted to, but I still dutifully participated. Then one year I decided to try and make a change and make as much of the presents homemade as I could. That has helped since the year I started that, and I have become progressively less grinchey. I have less time now, so less it homemade, but I still try my best. And then of course Lu came along and I try to get more into the spirit for her sake. So, we decorated the tree, made stuff, bought presents, and helped her get excited. She found the "hidden" pickle ornament on the tree this morning and got a special "Pickle Present", which is a little tradition introduced to me by my good friend Shelly. Lu has found the pickle every year since she was born! Chad and I also decided long ago to not do the whole "Santa" thing, so Lu knows that it is just a story and still enjoys the shows and Christmas books and whatnot.

Anyway, large gatherings are really not Chad and I's favorite things to begin with and I feel nervous about today because as can be seen by the picture below, we are seeing EVERYBODY today, well mostly, and those are just the pictures that I have made, there are still more people that I don't have pictures of that we will see. And now we have a "weird" bottle that Lu uses, a big book for communicating, and all of the other things that are different about her and us, and I get nervous about all of the questions. Like I said after Thanksgiving, they are well-meaning questions, and from our family that loves us and just wants to understand all of the things about Lu, but I just know I have a day of explanations ahead of me, and I just kind of wish we could spend the day doing Christmas stuff and ignore all of that. Not to sound like Lucy and Rett Syndrome are the focus of the day by any means, that's not at all what I'm saying, but just inquiries come up in conversation, sometimes maybe just because people don't know what to say. It's just how it is I guess though. People love her and want to know how she is doing and as her parents we have to tell them. I guess I just wish I had a day off every once in awhile from talking about Rett Syndrome, but we don't and we won't, and its not okay, but it just is what it is.

So anyway, Happy Holidays.

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